"I worked as a bartender/waitress at a bar inside an upscale health-food grocery store (it's a real thing, I promise). Most of our clientele was well-off retirees and 30-something recently divorced men hoping to get a date with someone coming in after a yoga class. Generally a nice group of customers, but definitely rich, uptight people. Forgetting to bring salt to some might be a huge offense, but automatically bringing it causes others to give you a lecture about sodium intake. It was a difficult balancing act.
“我曾在一家高檔健康食品雜貨店里面擔任酒吧的酒保兼服務生(真的是健康食品，我保證)。我們的大多數客戶是富裕的退休人員和30歲剛離婚并希望與一個剛上完瑜伽課的女人約會的男人。基本上都是些很友善的顧客，不過都真的有錢，而且要求比較高。忘記給他們送上鹽可能會引起他們的強烈反感，但拿了鹽的話他們又會給你上一門有關鈉攝入量的課。這個動作的輕重真的很難拿捏。”
"It was St. Patrick's Day. There was also a March Madness game with the local university team playing and we were short-staffed. Needless to say, it was an insane evening with me rushing around serving corned beef and cabbage, pouring Guinness, and making sure no one was becoming belligerent.
“那天是圣帕特里克節，當時正在進行“瘋狂三月”的比賽，當地大學的校隊有參加，我們人手不夠。不用說，這是一個瘋狂的夜晚，我不斷奔波著為客戶提供腌牛肉和卷心菜，以及吉尼斯黑啤酒，并確保沒有人要斗毆。”
"For some reason, the bar supervisor always liked to have food specials on display for people to see. While I get the concept, it generally just caused us to get mean looks when we told people they probably shouldn't eat it, as it wasn't a sample and had been sitting out for hours. Since it was St. Patrick's Day, we had a giant display of the corned beef and cabbage dinner special, complete with gravy, potatoes, and Irish beer bread.
“由于某些原因，酒吧主管總是喜歡把特薦美食陳列出來給人看。雖然我懂這是為什么，但這對于我們(服務人員)來說真的很麻煩，總是讓我們糟人冷眼，因為我們必須告訴顧客這些不是試吃品，而且它們已經被放在這里幾小時了。由于當時是圣帕特里克節，我們擺出了大量的腌牛肉配卷心菜特餐，并且還配有肉汁、土豆和愛爾蘭啤酒面包。
"As the night was beginning to slow down, I had an older couple sit at the only open seats -- adjacent to our food displays. I was clearing tables and leaned over to let them know I'd be right with them, and a plate slid off the mountain of dishes I was carrying, plopping right into the food display. The 12-hour-old gravy and potatoes somehow still had some fluidity to them, and flew up, then dropped… right into the man's lap.
“隨著當晚的高峰期開始結束，我讓一對老夫婦坐在僅剩的空位上----與我們擺出的食物相鄰。當時我正在清理桌子，但身體也向們傾斜好讓他們知道我馬上會去他們那里，就在這時，手里堆在最上面的一個盤子滑落了，正好砸向了陳列出的食物。那保存了十二小時的肉汁和馬鈴薯不知怎么居然還沒凝固，濺了起來，而后又掉落，不偏不倚落到了男人的膝蓋上。
"I was horrified and apologizing profusely while trying to set down the mountain of dishes. The man looked up and me and said, 'I just have one thing to tell you.' He slowly leaned in -- at which point I was thinking he was about to spit in my face -- and he said, 'I don't have to fart anymore, you scared it out of me.'
“我頓時感到了驚駭，一邊放下手里堆積如山的盤子一邊不停地道歉。那個男人抬頭看了我說道，‘我只想告訴你一件事。’他慢慢將身體傾斜------當我以為他要向我臉上吐唾沫時------然后他說，‘我終于不用再放屁了，你已經把它嚇出來了。”
"It was the laugh I needed that night, and he wouldn't even let me give him a free beer as an apology." -- Belinda Farragut
“于是我開懷大笑了起來，而這正是我當晚需要的，他甚至不要我給他免費的啤酒作為道歉。”------Belinda Farragut